I was born with a depressing disability which is a partial disconnection between the nerves and normal speech patterns. This is called stuttering or stammering. It is horrible thing to have in your childhood, as a teenager and as an adult. The very worst thing about it, is that there is no cure. You are scared for life. The best thing that you can you do is to either hide it and withdraw from conversations or manage to work around it in various ways. That was my life and is my life, although now I have managed to control it much than in my youth.
In my late teens I went to a doctor and he helped me with breath work exercises and revealed to me the magical fact, that it is ok to “not give a shit” what people thought about me. This helped me a lot back then, but this was not a cure. I swore to myself that I would not let this win over my communication skills, so I decided to amplify my other methods of expression which was writing. I started right away and read countless books, all sorts of book and poetry, new oner and old ones. I liked the classical literature the most, and read most of the classics that I could get my hands on. My vocabulary became large in both Icelandic and in English. I started writing every day, mostly poetry and stories.
Poetry became my main choice of literature, mainly because there was a lot of pain in me that I could not express otherwise and because if you write down your feelings with complete honesty, not holding anything back or trying to make yourself look good in any manner, writing a honest poem is that very best way to release your emotions, feelings and inner thoughts, into this world. I wrote hundreds of poems over this time, or until I went to law school. Law school left little room for anything else back in the 1990s. After that I worked relentlessly and never had time for reading anything or writing poetry until the present day in fact.
I have started writing poetry again and I love it.
