Battle of the children in Walddorf 1980

I was 7 years old and had just moved to the village of “Walddorf” just outside Heidelberg in West Germany. My sister Hekla and I had befriended a couple of kids in the same apartment building, one of who was a fun boy about 12 years old and his little sister. They lived in the other stairwell in the same apartment building as us, and they had a fun goofy looking dog that we liked to watch. One day there were a lot of kids playing outside the building and an argument arose between older boys about something that I can’t remember. One of them was a cool looking guy from what I thought at the time. The other one was not handsome, rather chubby, but he was the one my sister and I had befriended earlier. All the kids started to organize themselves into two teams and there was a lot of noise and shouting. For some reason I teamed up with the cool boy against the other one my sister and I had met before and we liked. I probably wanted to be cool too, by supporting the cooler guy and being on his team. However, matters developed so that the argument between the groups turned into a physical fight and then objects began to be thrown at each other, first cones and tree branches, and then stones were thrown at each group. I was among the youngest children there and I thought it was so exciting to be in a fight with the big kids. More young children were there and one girl was helped into a corner by the lobby of one of the stairwells, which was a little away from the path where the fight took place. I started throwing small stones towards the enemy group and then also decided to throw stones towards the lobby where the girl was somewhere. I didn’t cast hard or accurately. Maybe I wanted to take part in the battle so that no one would see. Maybe I wanted to hit the girl and others who were hiding by the lobby. Maybe more people were throwing stones there because there were rocks flying all over the place. In any case, there was suddenly a loud roar from the lobby of the enemy group. The girl had been hit with a stone in the head and blood was running from her forehead. I got a shock, a complete shock. Had I hit the girl or was it someone else? The girl was taken away, she cried and everyone stopped fighting and throwing stones. Everyone in our team was asked if they threw stones at the girl and everyone said no. I think it was me that hit the girl with the stone and I’ve felt guilty about it all my life since then. I haven’t told anyone about this until now.